This Damn House

I've had contractors and workmen fail to return my calls, return my calls but fail to show up for appointments, show up for estimates but never call me back, tell me my job was too big or too small or they were too busy, etc. But in all my years of being a home owner, I have never actually been rejected.

Until last week.

Based on a recommendation from a friend, we asked a handyman to do some work for us. He came out to the house and spent about a half hour, clipboard in hand, going through the house with us, as we pointed out areas we wanted his help with -- doors that needed adjusting, windows that needed insulating, mechanical items that needed fixing -- and he made some suggestions and comments about it, took some notes. He seemed to know his stuff. At the end of the visit he told us his rate ($60 an hour), which we agreed to, and he said he'd call with some estimates and to schedule time to do the work in a few weeks when he had time. Fine.

A week goes by with no word from Mr. Ferris. (Workmen who come out and never get back to us at all is not atypical, and is a whole separate rant.) So I called and left a message: "Hey, you were out last week, we'd still like to get an estimate for the work, give us a call back."

Later in the day he calls back and the conversation went like this:

He: "Yeah, so...you asked for an estimate. I'm sorry but the kind of work you are looking for doesn't really lend itself to estimation. I won't really know how long it takes until I start."

Me: "Okay, I understand that, it's just odd jobs. Perhaps we can just go hourly and see how much we can get done in some set number of hours. I'm sure we have several days worth of work."

He: "Well...*awkward pause*...the thing is, I'm really busy and it may be quite some time before I can get out there, so if the work's urgent, I might not be a good person to do the work."

Me: "Ah. Well, some of the work is more urgent than the rest. Perhaps we could find someone else to do some of the more urgent jobs, but we'd really like your help with tasks x, y and z because you sounded particularly skilled and knowledgeable on those areas."

He: "Well...er...the thing is...um....there would be no way I could get to it until October, maybe later."

Me: "I understand, that's okay. Can we schedule it for November then?"

He: "Well, ah, sorry, I have to wash my hair that night maybe you should find someone else to do the work."

Me: "Uh..."

He: "Tell you what, how about I give you a call next month if I have some free time, okay? Bye."

Whoa! Denied! Shot down by handyman! I am slain!