3:55PM: Okay, finished my work project and don't want to start a new one; I'll sign off a little early and do some house work.
4:00PM: How about a bit of plumbing? Finally got all the new bits to repair our other Temptrol shower faucet. Looks like the same job as last time; the handle is fused to the spindle. We gots a new handle, we gots a new spindle, we gots some washers, we gots the Nut Buster Wrench...we golden. I'll be in and out in half an hour.
4:25PM: Ahhh, piece o' cake. Tighten up the last bolt and turn the water to the house back on and.... *** A FOUNTAIN ERUPTS IN OUR BATHROOM *** %!)$*"!@#!!!
4:35PM: Frantic disassembly. Dammit, the hot seat (yes. hot seat. I'm not making that up) isn't seated. Maybe the cold seat, too. Probably corroded. Fortunately (anticipating this!) I had new hot and cold seats. Unfortunately, I've run out of time...
4:42PM: Hand tools and seats to Mr. TDH, browbeat Thing 1 and Thing 2 into baseball uniforms and head to practice. Relax and watch practice, confident in the knowledge that Mr. TDH is installing the new seats and all will be well soon.
4:57PM: Surprise call from doctor: that sleep study you are scheduled to do next month, involving spending the night in the hospital? We have an opening for, um, tonight. Can you be here at 8:30? "Oh sure," I respond, blithely.
5:01PM: Annoyed call from Mr. TDH: We don't have a hot seat removal tool (not making that up either) which it turns out is required to put a hot seat in, too. "Plus," he adds, "we have no water. I can't make dinner for Thing 3. I guess we'll go out for dinner and stop by the hardware store on the way."
5:06PM: Super annoyed call from Mr. TDH: "I can't take Thing 3 to dinner OR go to the hardware store. I have no car; remember? We took it to the shop yesterday and it isn't back yet." %!)$*"!@#!!! (Notice Thing 3 screaming like a banshee in the background, clearly about to die from hunger.)
6:00:01PM: When practice is over, drive like bat exiting hell to McDonald's (*shudder*) to acquire food nourishment caloric intake for family.
6:30PM: Arrive home with bag o' calories.
6:31:09: Finish consuming my portion of bag o' calories and jump on the computer looking for a local source for hot (and cold) seat removal tools.
6:39PM: Find a hardware store 20 minutes away that carries Temptrol parts. Note that it closes at 7. Shovel Mr. TDH into car.
6:41 PM: Call hardware store to check availability; find out it is out of stock. "We can special order it for you; have it here by, hmmm, Monday or so"
6:42 PM: Call Mr. TDH (now magically halfway there) to come back.
6:49 PM: Discover there's a distant Home Depot open late that may have the parts. Get ready to jump in the car and then remember: wait, I have a sleep study tonight! %!)$*"!@#!!!
7:30 PM: Turn on house water and watch the beautiful bathroom fountain flow while Things 1, 2 and 3 brush their teeth and pee (and flush! what a luxury. You just don't know how much you depend on running water until you don't have it.)
8:00PM: Finally identify a likely source for parts, just 15 minutes from our home. Note that they open at 9AM. Bookmark location.
8:01PM: Frantically pack stuff and head to hospital.
[Ellided: 13 exceptionally unpleasant hours involving 137 electrodes, a fast broken by a barium milkshake and an amount of radiation Ms. Curie would have found scary]
9:00AM: Arrive home, check bookmark, and dash out to plumbing supply store.
9:30AM: Arrive BACK home, hot seat removal tool, cold seat removal tool and a new cap assembly, costing about what it would have cost to replace the entire control online.
9:37AM: Discover that amidst our struggles with the hot seat yesterday, we managed to damage the shiny new spindle
9:38AM: Send Mr. TDH back to hardware store (too embarassed to show my own face)
10:20AM: Mr. TDH arrives home with new spindle.
10:30AM: PROJECT COMPLETE
Elapsed time: 18.5 hours to repair a leaky faucet
Surely this is some kind of record.
