This Damn House

Anyone who has met me is unsurprised to learn that I am a staunch feminist.

This informs many aspects of my life, but perhaps most importantly, my parenting.

I try not to let social gender stereotypes limit my children. I knew when I had my sons that part of my responsibility was to nurture in them not only traditionally masculine talents -- sports, mechanics, cooking, singing, that sort of thing -- but also those areas traditionally reserved only for females.

I was determined that no son of mine would leave my care without being able to solve simple differential equations, wire an outlet, repair a leaky faucet or set up a basic database.

So while my husband takes them outside to shoot hoops, or teaches them his secret recipe for pan-roasted chicken, I strive to share with them my more girlish activities. We play chess, poker and Battleship together, work on our home computer network...and since the Quicker Fixer Upper Project has started, I try to include them in our home improvement tasks.

But...

Well, staunch feminism aside, I'm starting to question the basic assumption that children are blank gender-neutral slates onto which society projects its insidious gender role expectations. Because despite my best attempts, not one of my sons has shown the slightest interest in or aptitude for the womanly arts of plumbing, wiring, carpentry, etc. Not one can drive a nail straight.

When I was a little kid, I loved to go downstairs with my mother and "help" her frame walls in the basement or re-route the furnace intakes. My brother, of course, never cared about that stuff -- he preferred to hang with his friends playing baseball, puttering in the kitchen or reading Jane Austen novels -- but as an adult I had chalked that up to our traditional gender-based upbringing. Mom never really did encourage any interest he might have in those things.

So I dunno...can boys really learn to use tools? Or should I just give up fighting nature and hope they marry well and their wives take care of all those home improvement tasks?